a while ago - over a year ago - i retired this little place. those little posts that i had poured a bit of myself into vanished, as if they had never been there. funny thing it is looking back over them, seeing fragments of my curiosity and despair crystallized into words like that. i figured at the time that i'd never return to this place, it's purpose served, but here i am. back again, in many ways a different person to the one that wrote those posts; of course i am in many ways just the same. i almost deleted my account here to condemn it; instead i abandoned it in place should i want to come back and reclaim it.
i'm not quite sure the exact compulsion that brings me back here. back then, it was a place to pour out a little part of myself; scream into the void, not to be heard but to be able to speak at all. i'm not sure i need that now as much as i did then; regardless, i can't help but want to write something.
i hope i've found you well, reader. the horrors persist, but so do i.
now listening: bastille - all this bad blood