sometimes i wonder if i am long for this world
i wish i could see myself and not feel disgust
i wish i didn't need therapy before i could drive
i wish i didn't lose years as a half-person in a depressive haze
i wish i didn't lose some days to the same, now
i wish i wasn't so sensitive
i wish i wasn't hurt so easily
i wish that i could be more than a little broken pile of parts
and sometimes i wonder if i am long for this world. people live under much crueller circumstances than me and yet it feels like my grasp is so tenuously weak. i'm so pathetic.
i can feel the walls as they close in: i am slowly getting worse, not better, despite my struggle.